OK, cymbals are an addiction. Each one sounds different. I have bought 4 in the past 6 months. What do you tell your significant other when you come home with another? I have to hide money in my Bass drum case to fund additional ones. Oh what we have to do! Now there is this Zildjian Z custom I tried today, sounded so good... might have to go back tomorrow and buy it. Where will I hide it?
i show her and play it for her. i wouldnt be involved with someone who didnt understand and wasnt supportive ;D i actually have a harder time justifying gear purchases to myself than the missus.
Yup I agree with 563! And I would add that anytime you tell the truth you'll come out better than telling a lie! My wife sometimes gets a little miffed about me making BIG purchases without talking to here about it FIRST, and she should! ;) But she understands that playing is important to me and she supports that 100%. lol She just try's to get me to do it without putting us in the poor house! lol Tell your spouse the truth! They desrve that!
My wife is pretty rocking about stuff like that, but I'm also in the position to point out that drums bought our house, so she's pre-disposed to taking it easy on me. I will say though, that "They were only $3,600 with my deal, it would've been 8" - does NOT help. It's smoother when you let her pick the colors, as well.
Yup--another vote for Tell The Wife.
We have a Line Of Credit account with the bank that usually has a little room to roam. If I really need something, we discuss it and get it 99% of the time. It's not unusual when we go by the music store for something to catch my eye (of course). Most of the time, my wife suggests that I get whatever it is.
Sometimes, if it's near a Father's Day, Birthday, Christmas or other such occaision, I'll buy it. Then, she'll wrap it up and give it to me. We all win--I get what I want and the wife and kids are able to buy for the most impossible person to shop for.
i don't have a wife (or a husband!!!), not even a girlfriend (not sure if that's good or bad...)
i also don't have the money to buy drum stuff...
i guess i'd probably be honest about it if i had to answer to anybody about my purchases though!
I'm addicted to spending money on my drums, i spend $1500 on cymbols in 3 months... I think i need a gf to straighten me out lol
I'm like 563, I guess, in that I will not buy something that I want cause I don't feel it's justified. But if I asked my wife she would tell me to get it. I use to put my drum income, as little as it is, into the "family" account. She suggested that I put it in my own account and spend it on drum stuff. That allowed me to rationalize the purchase of my new set. I also used it to buy those Bosphorus cymbals when we took our trip to the Mediterranean. :D
I just tell her the poor little thing followed me home from the store. ;)
Really though, we usually end up discussing it and then she talks me into it. Like 563 said, I have a harder time spending the money than she does (just lucky I guess).
Now she's trying to talk me into the Iron Cobra pedal I've had my eye on.
John
I tell her that she'd better keep her trap shut or I'll blacken the other eye! ;D Just kidding, really.....I swear! ;)
I'm envious of some of you whose wife or gf encourages your drum equipment purchases. Mine has close to zero interest in my drumming and mostly gives me grief over my cymbal purchases. That reminds me.....I need a new 16" crash. :)
Tom
usually I am already babbling about a certain piece of gear months before i can actually buy it, so my girlfriend is happy when i get so i keep my mout shut about it :)
My wife usually goes with me when I hit the music store. I get hooked up with some decent deals since i'm friends with the drum pro and when i'm salivating over a certain piece, she has it on the counter with her purse open before I know it. I wouldnt lie to her about anything like that. Its not like she isnt going to know I bought something because she sits down at my set and plays too. I'm about due for something soon since I let her go to Las Vegas with her family members last month. Paybacks are a wife ,,,,,, er you know what I mean.
You did what!!!!
I guess i'm a lucky sod or was it i got it sorted right in the first place.My wife is an ex muso and understands that what i earn at gigs is mine. I hoard it and buy tasty drum goodies with it and so have a nice kit. Many muso mates of mine still play on crap gear but are happy stoned out and broke.
Occasionally when i rarely have excess gear loot i'll surprise her and buy her something nice. A bit of respect both ways goes a long way. ;)
She never complained about music equipment but one time she did pitch a fit over an airplane I bought. So I just looked her right in the eyes and said "you crazy old woman, how would you like it if I knocked all your teeth out? Airplanes are what makes us money you goofy, complaining ole witch" Of course I was saying all this to myself because if she heard me I would have been the one with no teeth. It always pays to tell the truth because "the truth will set you free" of course sometimes it hurts a little.
uhmmm... same thing she tells you when she comes home with that new dress?
"But honey- I got it for 40%off!"
I had to instantly reply to this as soon as I read the question. I've since gone back and read all your responses and an encouraged as to the number of guys who would discuss things with their wives first- and the number of wives out there who would encourage the purchases. Kristi and I have too many divorced friends, usually wives who had the spauns of Satan for husbands (their words not mine). People who don't respect their spouses or significant others are headed for whirlwinds of grief and trouble. Its great to see a healthy number of you who have seemingly healthy relationships. I know Kristi has been very supportive of my purchases and I hers. We don't always agree but thats an impossible combination anyway- no two people are exactly alike.
So hats off to all of you who discuss major purchases BEFORE you make them- whether you feel like you have your own money or not. And on a seconday note- take the change from those couple hundred dollars you just spent, buy a variety of chocolates and serve them to your wive/gf atop that new brass platter. If she's a chocoholic, she may not even notice the cymbal ;)
I have enough crap now that my wife would know if it were new or not. She would just figure that it was something she hadn't seen yet.
It's different for me since I make my living in music. I have a business account from which I pay myself a salary ... which goes to run the household. The rest is there to be used for whatever I need ... like gear. The catch to all of this, however, is that from that same business account I have to take care of all other business expenses. This would mean all maintenance on my cargo van, computer, insurance, cell phone, etc. So when the idiot broke into my van and stole my stick bag ... I had to pay for the broke window and replace all the stuff stolen ... all out of the business account.
So it has it's rewards ... but it also has it's punishment. ;)
We both work. We both have certain bill-paying responsibilities and a certain amount of "mad-money". If I want to use mine for cymbals, drums, etc., I do. If she wants to use hers for decorating, expensive shoes, etc., she does. Bigger stuff we talk about.
Now, negotiating to turn the basement recreation room into a combination "drum-room" and band rehearsal space after our daughter left for college, that took a little more work ;).
BigBill
New cymbals? What's that?
Seriously, any gear purchases I make are usually the result of $$ I made on a gig, so my wife could care less. Of course, I try to be fair and split my gig $$. If I buy a piece of gear one week, the next time I use the money for something around the house I know my wife wants. I'm in no position to complain, since she knew I had been eyeballing my DW kit for about a year before I bought it. One day we were in the music store buying some sticks, etc and out of the blue she said, "Why don't you ask John (the owner and a friend) what he'll take for that kit you want so bad. It's been on the floor for over a year, I'm sure he'll make you a deal." I replied it wasn't worth it, since I wasn't going to buy it. She replied, "No, but I'll buy it for you if the price is right." Well, I went home that day with a new DW kit with cases!!!
We recently had the opportunity to make available for other purposes, a bedroom in our house. I believe within about one hours discussion time it became "My drum room with Kristi's stamping stuff" while to her its "Kristi's stamp room with my drums in it" For those of you who are wondering, this stamping stuff consists of endless boxes of rubber stamps, inks, papers, etc for gift card making, wall art, etc. I own one corner of the room, she has all the rest but I'm about to refigure my kit so that it will require more room. I'm moving the 13' tom to the left of the snare, getting the post out of the bass drum and a few other things.
Quote from: agsa6079(Tony) on April 03, 2003, 08:42 AM
She replied, "No, but I'll buy it for you if the price is right." Well, I went home that day with a new DW kit with cases!!!
Tony, THAT is what we call a "keeper."
Wow.
Does she have a sister? ;)
(Kidding - I'm very happily engaged to another musician/computer geek whose own eBay addiction keeps her from complaining about my purchases. ) ;D
Quote from: agsa6079(Tony) on April 03, 2003, 08:42 AM"No, but I'll buy it for you if the price is right."
I keep telling you guys that sucking up pays off big time... ;D
Quote from: Mister Acrolite on April 03, 2003, 08:47 AM
Quote from: agsa6079(Tony) on April 03, 2003, 08:42 AM
She replied, "No, but I'll buy it for you if the price is right." Well, I went home that day with a new DW kit with cases!!!
Tony, THAT is what we call a "keeper."
Wow.
Does she have a sister? ;)
(Kidding - I'm very happily engaged to another musician/computer geek whose own eBay addiction keeps her from complaining about my purchases. ) ;D
Well, I've been with her for 16 years, so I'm pretty sure I'll keep her. The question is, will she keep me? ;D
Actually, I have more of a problem with bringing home new snares. It's getting progressively more difficult to justify. I explain that certain snares sound better in certain environments so I need a particular snare that sounds good live, one that sounds good in the studio, one that sounds good in the drum room at church, etc. Now, realize that the snares I've bought are top quality and and really will work anywhere. ....It's just that most just kind've shine in different places.
Unfortunately, her most recent reply was, "Then why do you keep buying crappy snares that don't sound good everywhere"?
..."Ummmmm"..... ::)
Quote from: Mister Acrolite on April 03, 2003, 08:47 AM
Quote from: agsa6079(Tony)
Does she have a sister? ;)
/quote]
WELL?!?! does she!?!?!?! hook a brotha up!!! lol
I too am addicted to snares, and you guys are reall screwed when your lady gets REALLY hip to it and starts breaking stuff like this out...(last month when I ordered the new bronze snare from my guy at Paiste)
"what the hell are you getting that for, Kevin, you know after you tune it up it's gonna sound just like the bell brass downstairs..."
-screwed.
Quote"what the hell are you getting that for, Kevin, you know after you tune it up it's gonna sound just like the bell brass downstairs..."
Just don't let her make you do a blind test to prove you can hear the difference!!
What do I tell her...?
...I don't ;)
Remember guys and gals, its always easier to get forgiveness than it is to get permission! 8)
I have trouble spending the money- Times are rough financially at the moment. I don't have to share the info yet, since we are not married yet, but I'm usually so excited about new gear that I tell him right away.
I'm soo looking forward to buying a new ride cymbal and a headset mic that he'll know the second I do. Most likely he'll be with me when I finially relent and spend the cash.
Quote from: dwcampbell1 on April 03, 2003, 10:55 AM
Actually, I have more of a problem with bringing home new snares. It's getting progressively more difficult to justify. I explain that certain snares sound better in certain environments so I need a particular snare that sounds good live, one that sounds good in the studio, one that sounds good in the drum room at church, etc. Now, realize that the snares I've bought are top quality and and really will work anywhere. ....It's just that most just kind've shine in different places.
Unfortunately, her most recent reply was, "Then why do you keep buying crappy snares that don't sound good everywhere"?
..."Ummmmm"..... ::)
.....My wife knows that the bill-paying money comes from my gig, and we seldom, if ever, have had a problem with buying new drum gear. But one time, I wanted to buy a Pearl Dennis Chambers 6.5"x14", and she looked at me and said "You already own 8 other snare drums, why do you need this one?" (At that time, she was right, I actually did have that many.) I smiled back at her and replied "How many pairs of shoes do you have in the closet?"
The Chambers snare now sits in a case in my drum room and is used on many recordings. :-)
Regards,
drumz1
My problem is that my wife is very frugal... she rarely buys stuff for herself, so I can't exactly use the old "too many shoes in the closet" thing. Bummer.
Del
"spauns of Satan"
I just wanted to point out that only a drummer would make that spelling error.
Just teasing, MVanDoren! ;)
Drumgun, I had to laugh when you said your drums bought your house. It reminded my that I had to sell my '82 Mustang GT to get the down payment on my first house. In that case my first sports car bought my house ;D
My wife is always encouraging me to buy stuff. My birthday is coming so I smell a new 16 inch AAX crash and maybe an 8 inch splash too! Woo hoo!
My secret is that I spend a bunch on her first and then she feels like she needs to return the favor.
Normally I tell him before I buy drum realted stuff. This time I bought a new B8 Pro ride cymbal got 2 weeks ago and still haven't told him.
I haven't used it yet either.
::)I lie my ass off of course. I either tell her that they were much cheaper than they actually were, or I just tell her that these new ones are supposed to be quieter, and less disruptive to her Home and Garden Television. ;)
My wife told me that I had to quit playing drums, go back to college and get TWO jobs so she could stay at home.
So now I'm divorced AND have a great drum kit!
Also, I have a girlfriend who shops gear FOR me AND takes care of my kit whenever I have a gig.
Our philosophy is this: So long as we're not spending the grocery money, all is fair!
Based on this life experience, I would say that you're with the wrong person if you have to hide your passions instead of share them.
Luckily for me Ebay has saved this from being a problem. I buy and sell lots of different things and use that money to buy new drum things. Or sometimes I pull back some of my quarterly bonus, overtime or tax money. But I rarely spend a lot at once. The missus knows I'd never put us in financial danger for drums so she lets me spend my own money how I want.
There's a great bumpersticker I saw at a drum shop I was passing through in Buffalo, NY....
"I got an incredible drumset for my girlfriend.....I'm gonna miss her".
Yeah, bringing home new gear is tough....when I randomly brought home my 60's roundbage kit.....didn't go over so well....She knows that it's EXACTLY what I've always been looking for (but is sick of the sets stacked in our apt....most acting as furniture...)....but I bought it in a tough financial time.....(gotta buy em' when they're there though!!...I've learned that lesson before)....
I'd say it's best to tell em'....chat, explain the situation and make it happen....but when all's said and done......YOU GET THAT GEAR!!!....jk......kind of..
T
In 1966 I had been married for about 3 months and I was jamming on the kit for a couple of hours. My new wife finally said, "Its either me or the drums." After a minute or so of silence she said, "well?" I thought a minute and said, "I'm thinking, this is a hard decision!" After 34 years of marriage there was never another comment about the drums. She loved to go to the gigs with me and was always supportive.
My wife is the best! She supports my music adventures and purchases. Like 563, I have more trouble convincing myself. I agree that communication is the best thing.
For an example of my wife's coolness. When I graduated from college she purchased the Roland V-Club for me to practice on while we lived in an apartment. Another cool gift, she went to GC and played all the splashes and chose the 10" HH Duo Splash as a birthday gift, the same splash I would have chosen.
Quote from: John_M._Hicks on July 07, 2003, 09:00 PM
My wife is the best! She supports my music adventures and purchases. Like 563, I have more trouble convincing myself. I agree that communication is the best thing.
For an example of my wife's coolness. When I graduated from college she purchased the Roland V-Club for me to practice on while we lived in an apartment. Another cool gift, she went to GC and played all the splashes and chose the 10" HH Duo Splash as a birthday gift, the same splash I would have chosen.
Now that my drumming friends is TRUE LOVE. ;)
This all sounds like what I've gone through buying computer stuff. But since the wife doesn't understand them she just alowed me to get what I needed as I needed it. Now, after MANY upgrades of my own machine, everyone in the house has their own computer and I've got them all networked together. And she and both the boys love it.
Drumming for me has always been a hobby, so buying for them has always been a bit tougher. But getting her involved with the band some friends and I have come together to form has made here a little more leniant on my purchases. But still I just about over-did it this past winter/fall because I upgraded so much of my equipment at once. There again, I helped smooth it out by selling off some of the equipment I had replaced.
Atomic, I'm pretty to the point with most issues which might offend some people but I don't care. You are lucky that your wife doesn't kick you out because of your duplicitous and disrespectful behavior toward her. Also, I would never start a thread like this because I would be ashamed of these actions, hiding money in my bass drum case. What are you fifteen? Get a second job if you need those cymbals so bad. I hope you don't handle your other personal affairs with your wife like you do this one. Speak to your wife and show her some respect. You are supposed to be partners.
Louis are you married? If so you must have to do a lot of "making-up with your wife based on your comments.
Grow-up. You can't always get what you want in life. A good marriage is a hell of a lot more important than a stinkin' cymbal or snare drum! It is always better to be honest and speak with your spouse about your desire to purchase a new piece of equipment than be a devious snake. You will also gain the respect of your spouse when you are honest and show integrity.
I'll probably get slammed for this response but, hey Bob Grant get slammed all day. That's what happens when you speak the truth. Who cares.
Quote from: SteveG on July 10, 2003, 06:52 AM
Atomic, I'm pretty to the point with most issues which might offend some people but I don't care. You are lucky that your wife doesn't kick you out because of your duplicitous and disrespectful behavior toward her. Also, I would never start a thread like this because I would be ashamed of these actions, hiding money in my bass drum case. What are you fifteen? Get a second job if you need those cymbals so bad. I hope you don't handle your other personal affairs with your wife like you do this one. Speak to your wife and show her some respect. You are supposed to be partners.
Louis are you married? If so you must have to do a lot of "making-up with your wife based on your comments.
Grow-up. You can't always get what you want in life. A good marriage is a hell of a lot more important than a stinkin' cymbal or snare drum! It is always better to be honest and speak with your spouse about your desire to purchase a new piece of equipment than be a devious snake. You will also gain the respect of your spouse when you are honest and show integrity.
I'll probably get slammed for this response but, hey Bob Grant get slammed all day. That's what happens when you speak the truth. Who cares.
Steve, with all due respect -
lighten up.
This is a light-hearted thread started by somebody (Atomic) who's not even active on the board anymore. If you spend some time getting to know the people here you'll know there's an underlying friendship among many of us. To directly and personally attack other people's semi-serious posts about their own personal relationships is in questionable taste, and furthermore I question what good can be accomplished by the tone and content of your post.
FYI, Louis is a widower. Feel good about your slam now?
Seriously - think hard about what you post. Even if you believe in your heart of hearts that your opinion is true - ask yourself this:
will my opinion be beneficial? Or am I just asserting my self-presumed mental or moral superiority?
That is what DIPLOMACY is about - not just
having a well-thought-out opinion, but determining whether that opinion is actually something that will be helpful to voice in a specific situation. (In other words, not just knowing
what to say, but
when - and when
not - to say it.)
Food for thought.
Mr. A.
Moderator
Quote from: SteveG on July 10, 2003, 06:52 AM
Louis are you married? If so you must have to do a lot of "making-up with your wife based on your comments.
I was married for 34 years and we never had a serious argument and very few disagreements. But looking back, that making up sure sounds like a lot of fun ;D
QuoteA good marriage is a hell of a lot more important than a stinkin' cymbal or snare drum!
I totally dissagree ;D a good groupie
maybe
Quote from: felix on July 10, 2003, 07:15 AMa good groupie
Do you mean that there are some BAD groupies?
har...I suppose a good groupie is a bad groupie. But truly a bad groupie can be also classified as a pig, hog, cow but usually not an ox, which is generally the groupie's husband. Subsequently, "fat" is not a negative attribute in this case since "fat bottom girls make the rockin' world go round".
I'm sorry to use such a derogatory term, but these types of "people" exist and I think we can responsibly discuss them and the ramifications they impose on us as musicians ::)
Man, it sure is hot here. "This is Africa hot. Tarzan couldn't take this kind of hot. I don't think I'm going to ba able to stay if it's going to be this hot." - Matthew Broderick, Biloxi Blues
I'm not officially married yet, but I might as well be. I usually just give a couple weeks notice if I'm going to spend more than $100. Other than that, she couln't care less. "Honey, I bought new drum-heads today." and I get, "that's nice dear." ;)
Quote from: felix on July 10, 2003, 01:23 PM
har...I suppose a good groupie is a bad groupie. But truly a bad groupie can be also classified as a pig, hog, cow but usually not an ox, which is generally the groupie's husband. Subsequently, "fat" is not a negative attribute in this case since "fat bottom girls make the rockin' world go round".
Now that is what I call a real tap dance. ;D (https://drummercafe.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.louisrussell.com%2Ftapdance.gif&hash=aed0de547da8258f28978ee31ed2762b3e5362dc)
When the subject comes up at home, I always tell my fiancee that any groupies I may have - er -
encountered over the years
meant nothing to me, and that
I was thinking of her the whole time. Despite the fact that I hadn't met her yet.
For some reason, I get the impression she doesn't believe me, but that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.
But all is well - she knows I've already sown my wild oats. Although I was always more into
malt, rice, and barley rather than oats. ;)
Can you beer me now? Good. Can you beer me now? Good. Can you beer me now? Good. Can you beer me now? Good. Can you beer me now? Good.
Mine tells me to find a groupie and leave her alone. So that's what 20 years of marriage has done for us. :)
I wonder if I should take her up on that request... :D
My girlfriend collects groupie phone numbers and emails (after she's done tearing down my kit). She thinks it's important to carry the appearance of being single at a show.
But there's no free lunch. I do dishes. ;D
I say "look honey I bought a new cymbal to match your new shoes and purse that you just bought"
That ends it! 8)
dw
Quote from: drwalker on July 11, 2003, 08:47 AM
I say "look honey I bought a new cymbal to match your new shoes and purse that you just bought"
Ok, I have read this line several times and fail to find the part about ducking! I just know it is there somewhere. ;D
It was probably a rather "Ducky" purse or pair of shoes. :D
Maybe some White Marine Pearl pumps!
Quote from: Atomic on April 02, 2003, 03:20 PM
OK, cymbals are an addiction. What do you tell your significant other when you come home with another?
Do not cook Chinese food in it!
Quote from: ritarocks on August 02, 2003, 08:35 PMDo not cook Chinese food in it!
hehe
work that hat
... or wok that hat ;)
Quote from: SteveG on July 10, 2003, 06:52 AM
Grow-up. You can't always get what you want in life. A good marriage is a hell of a lot more important than a stinkin' cymbal or snare drum!
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo way! I'd leave anyone for drums. Having a wife isn't a "must have" or any kind of "work". It's a passion, just like drums.
The most beautiful things in the world of the ones of least importance.
Quote from: skriben on August 03, 2003, 12:52 AM
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo way! I'd leave anyone for drums.
So I guess I know what you'd say if Robert DeNiro approached you and said ,"A million dollars...For one night with your drums." ;D
Shut up bit*h :D ;)
Quote from: ritarocks on August 03, 2003, 02:00 AM
So I guess I know what you'd say if Robert DeNiro approached you and said ,"A million dollars...For one night with your drums." ;D
Yeah, I'd swap and buy loads of percussion, cymbals, hardware and drums !!! =)
Quote from: dougstiers on August 03, 2003, 02:08 AM
Shut up bit*h :D ;)
Wow, uhhh...so, tell us what it's like using a cymbal for a suppository :o
I like my women like my fish and chicken,,,,BATTERED! lol I was poking fun at the post about blackening her other eye! no. I just do whatever, usually she is cool with things, however I do tend to go overboard sometimes and thats when I hear about it. But I probably need it.
I make almost twice the money she does but I don't buy anything unless we discuss it. I tell her the truth. The only things that I have bought with out her knowing it, is when I get an unexpected bonus check from work. Eventually, I still tell her.
Nutty
Quote from: drumnut1 on March 25, 2008, 07:27 AM
I tell her the truth. The only things that I have bought with out her knowing it, is when I get an unexpected bonus check from work. Eventually, I still tell her.
Nutty
I notice there's the word "eventually" in that last sentence. I hear you! Generally, I wait a few days or weeks or however long it takes for my girlfriend (soon to be fiance) to buy some luxury item for herself. I ooh and aah over it (no matter what it is) and then say, "And have you seen the cymbal I just got?"
It softens the blow.... ::)
Quote from: bolweevil on March 25, 2008, 09:22 AM
I notice there's the word "eventually" in that last sentence. I hear you! Generally, I wait a few days or weeks or however long it takes for my girlfriend (soon to be fiance) to buy some luxury item for herself. I ooh and aah over it (no matter what it is) and then say, "And have you seen the cymbal I just got?"
It softens the blow.... ::)
In my arsenal of equipment, I have bought two items from bonus checks that I told her about after the fact. My 24in 2002 Ride and the Paiste 24in Cymbal case to carry it. That is it. She knew about everything else before I spent the money. Everyones relationship is different. I am one of these people that wears everything on my sleeve so hiding things from the one I Love is not my nature. I couldn't tell a lie and get away with it. That is just me.
Nutty
Funny someone bumped this thread, as I was thinking about this just yesterday.
I'm a newlywed (married in February) and I'm thinking of overhauling my cymbal setup to avoid getting in a rut. I've had the same setup for about 4 years now, so I'm thinking of picking up a couple of Sabian AAX-plosion crashes and a new ride.
I certainly don't expect my wife to understand the nuances between a Sabian AA dark crash and a Zildjian dark crash, but she DOES understand that my playing on the weekends helps put money in the bank.
I figure, if she can go to Ann Taylor Loft and buy clothes and not tell me until after the fact, I can do the same with these cymbals. :)
Quote from: Louis on April 03, 2003, 06:23 AM
She never complained about music equipment but one time she did pitch a fit over an airplane I bought. So I just looked her right in the eyes and said "you crazy old woman, how would you like it if I knocked all your teeth out? Airplanes are what makes us money you goofy, complaining ole witch" Of course I was saying all this to myself because if she heard me I would have been the one with no teeth. It always pays to tell the truth because "the truth will set you free" of course sometimes it hurts a little.
I was very lucky to be in the group with wives who supported their love for music. My wife was an accomplished organist. She was the Church organist from the time she was 9 years old and could play anything by ear and could sight read with the best of them. She was a great musician, a wonderful wife, and above all she was able to put up with my jokes for 34 years. A word to the wise, never hide things from your wife! It will come back to haunt you OR she may knock your teeth out! ;D
What do I tell my wife?
"Honey, put the gun down."
Seriously, my wife and I keep separate checking accounts for the precise reason that we don't want to deal with headaches that would result from the situation discussed in this post. We contribute to a joint checking account to cover household expenses and a joint savings account to save for vacations, etc. But we each retain a great deal of financial independence through our personal checking accounts. I highly recommend this set up, unless some other issue makes it impractical. A lot of people look at me funny when I describe this set-up, but these are the same people that have mild to severe co-dependency issues.
Quote from: drumnut1 on March 25, 2008, 09:36 AM
In my arsenal of equipment, I have bought two items from bonus checks that I told her about after the fact. My 24in 2002 Ride and the Paiste 24in Cymbal case to carry it. That is it. She knew about everything else before I spent the money. Everyones relationship is different. I am one of these people that wears everything on my sleeve so hiding things from the one I Love is not my nature. I couldn't tell a lie and get away with it. That is just me.
Nutty
Hey Nutty, I was just kidding earlier--not trying to suggest that sneaking around with cymbals is okay (though always tempting).
I've been down that road. She has had almost 40 years to get used to me. Never complained a bit. She just said, "That's your problem, you bought it you pay for it." I think I'll keep her. ;)
I take my wife to the drum shop with me. She likes playing my drums and I've bought her stand mounted congas and bongos and a LOT of hand held percussion. WE are a dangerous pair in a music store with a credit card ;>)
PA gear is another story but she allows for my addiction ;>)
Boomerweps
I say, "Hey babe, didn't you say you needed a new pair of shoes?" She usually knows ahead of time before I make any purchases. She does the same for me. We share a bank account, and lots of people think we're crazy for it, but with good communication it works out very well.
I mean, how do you dictate who pays what bills with separate accounts? I don't like the headache I have of managing one account, much less two. I think that's the reason I've been faithful to my wife for all of these years as well. LOL!!!
Quote from: sleepybrIghteyez on March 27, 2008, 01:26 AM
I mean, how do you dictate who pays what bills with separate accounts?
We have a joint account for shared expenses. It's really pretty easy to manage.
We had separate accounts for many things over the years. But in the end the total that was left ended up in a joint account. The money I made playing went into my "band" account and went towards my gear purchases. Likewise my contruction money went into that account. But in the end we both agreed to what we bought unless it was a relativly small purchase. When I came home with new drums or gear I just showed up home with it. Then I put up with whatever she had to say about it. Worked for me. :D But in return I never complained because I allowed her to get whatever she wanted or needed. So the bottom line was always mutual. We've put up with each other for so many years that we just about know what the other one is thinking before they say it. When we got married she knew she was marrying a musician. So it's never realy been a problem that I know of. She's managed to keep her trap shut pretty good. ;D
I really didn't have to tell her anything. She was standing next to me when I bought the three of them. She did look a little funny when I was able to pull enough cash out to pay for them on the spot. I quess she wonders where I keep that money while I'm waiting to have enough to make a purchase like that, but she nevers says a word. She even opened the door on our way out.