You might be too old to gig if.........

[drumz1]

You Might Be Too Old to Gig If.....................
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Before each gig, you find yourself warming up more parts of your body.

It becomes more important to find a place onstage for your box fan,
than your amp.

During the second set, you scream for the drummer to please stop
hitting those annoying cymbals.

You refuse to play out of tune.

Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf.

Your fans have left by 10:30 p.m.

All you want from groupies is a foot massage.

You love shopping the dollar store because you can sing along to most
of your playlist.

You hire band members for their values instead of their talent.

Instead of a fifth piece, your band wants to spring for a roadie with
the extra money.

You've lost the directions to the gig.

Prepping for the gig involves plucking hair from your chin or nose.

Most of the hair you've plucked from your chin or nose are gray.

You need your glasses to see your amp settings.

You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage.

You're thrilled to have New Year's Eve off.

The waitress is your daughter.

You stop the set because your bottle of Ibuprofen fell behind the speakers.

Most of your crowd just sways in their seats.

You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case.

You no longer use a tip jar.

You refuse to play without earplugs.

You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 p.m. instead of 9:30 p.m.

You want an opening act.

You check the TV schedule before booking a gig.

High notes make you cough.

Your gig stool has a back.

You're related to at least one other member of the band.

You need a nap before the gig.

You don't let anyone "sit in."

After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.

During the breaks, you now go to your van to lay down.

You prefer a music stand with a light.

You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon.

You can't operate without a set list.

You say you double on bass.

You discourage playing longer than contracted.

You have a contract.

You know all the words to "Aqualung."

[Louis Russell]

Dang, looks like this may have hit a little close to home for a lot of us.   ;D  I was going to post earlier but my nap got in the way.   8)

[Chip Donaho]

At 58 that list doesn't even pretain to me.   :D  I know musicians in their 30's that fit many of those things....  :-X  Age is in the eyes of the beholder. Now close your eyes and listen to the music. Turn it down, you might wake Louis.  ;D

[DWdrmr]

At almost 53,I play in 3 bands...one wedding,one heavy metal,one Christian....only a couple things pertained... thing that really bothers me is carrying a ton of equipment back and forth, but since I don't drink/drugs when I play anymore, I can tolerate that because I make allowances and because this is what I WANT to do..and yes,I do know the words to Aqualung...."smearing greasy fingers on shabby clothes" etc...I know that guy, I played at the Fillmore with him,he did'nt know anything about music ,same as Santa Clause....(Cheech&Chong)

[smoggrocks]

aw, c'mon man -- i know the words to Aqualung too, and i'm still ready to rock!


now... where's the band? ;D

[Filacteria]

I'm 31 and have roadies already...  Maybe that 22", 7lb ride was a bad idea after all...